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The Wonderful O.

by James Thurber · 1957

The man with the map & the man with the ship sailed for the island rich with sapphires, emeralds & rubies. Their vessel was called AEIU, which has every vowel but O. The owner hated O because his mother had become wedged in a porthole & they couldn't pull her in, so they had to push her out. The Island, Ooroo, was inhabited by gentle people who did not resist when the pirates unable to find any jewels decided to get rid of all words with an O in them. Cnfusin reigned, & chas. A man named Otto Ott, when asked his name, could only stutter. Ophelia Oliver was ashamed. Babies often made as much se

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